Super Bowl LIX Snark and Highlights

-Virginia McCaskey is honored for her work with the Bears.

-Jon Batiste sings the National Anthem before the big game begins and it is one of the most amazing performances I have ever seen. WOW, I am so impressed with him and how well he performed. That was incredible.

-The New Orleans first responders are honored for their work during the terrorist attack, as are the fourteen victims.

-The victims of the California wildfires, the North Carolina hurricanes and the plane crash victims are also honored.

-The Chiefs win the coin toss, and the Eagles do the opening kickoff.

-Is Lilo on the football field? WTF is happening? I am not even drinking.

-Ah, it is the trailer for the live action movie! My goddaughter is going to love it!

-Our first flag of the night due to the AJ Brown pass interference. Time for Fun with Flags!

-I turn around for one minute and the whole place looks like it is a Jerry Springer/preschool type tantrum going on. WTF?

-If these commercials have taught me anything, it is that there are a ton of amazing movies coming out this year.

-Nearly intercepted, but not quite!

-The Chiefs coach looks pissed off as he takes notes on….whatever Super Bowl coaches take notes on? Or maybe he is writing a grocery list or deciding which players are naughty or nice. Hard to tell.

-So far, this game has been a whole lot of nothing.

-More Fun with Flags!

-Eagles get a TOUCHDOWN!!!!

-Incomplete for Mahomes!

-For a second, I thought Alley Mills was in that Michelob beer commercial. I have no idea who it is, but it sure looks like her.

-Again, with the Fun with Flags! Penalty for the Chiefs’ defense?

-Second quarter begins. I promise to pay more attention during this one.

-Bryan Cook intercepts from AJ!

-Third and three, incomplete!

-These commercials aren’t even that interesting tonight. Maybe I am tired, maybe I am cranky, but not a fan of most of them.

-A beauty from AJ!

-A tackle from Justin Reid!

-Three more points for the Eagles.

-Between that Google commercial of the dad and daughter and Country Roads, I am in tears.

-After a chase scene, we have another touchdown for the Eagles….and three more points, giving them seventeen points to the Chiefs’ ZERO!

-Gordon Ramsay getting a Super Bowl commercial was not on my bingo card.

-Chiefs are in time out. As an aside, their coach looks like he is super pissed and as if he is about to take five points away from Hufflepuff.

-Also, news is coming in that Taylor Swift is being booed. This is so sad and uncalled for….like it or not, her boyfriend is in the game, and she is there to support him. She is doing what any decent girlfriend would do. She is also the most famous person on earth, so show some respect, people. Good on Serena Williams for being a good friend and supporting her!

-THE WHEN HARRY MET SALLY COMMERCIAL!!!!!! The infamous ‘I’ll have what she’s having’ orgasm scene for Hellmann’s! I’ll have what she’s having, too!

-The Budweiser Clydesdale commercial! I live for this every single Super Bowl.

-Another time out? This time for the Eagles.

-Another touchdown for the Eagles!

-24 for the Eagles, good for you, Eagles, you go Eagles!

-AND NONE FOR THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS!

-Another flag!

-Declined penalty!

-Chiefs are in a timeout, or so it seems.

-Did that dude stumble or throw himself on the floor?

-Except for the Eagles scoring touchdowns, this game is so uneventful. I’ve already done my dishes, washed my microwave, texted my sister, BFF and a few other friends and am about to set up the coffee for tomorrow night.

-HALFTIME!!

-There is a local commercial playing and it reminds me of that Smart Guy episode where TJ went to the TV station and put his dad’s commercial into the Super Bowl commercial rotation.

-Who is going to email Bill Murray after that commercial?

-Kendrick Lamar is in the house! SZA, Samuel L. Jackson, Mustard and Serena Williams are all on hand to help with the show.

-That halftime show was a bit….calmer than most. Not much fanfare or bells and whistles, just simple performing.

-Third quarter……still uneventful.

-Matthew McConaughey is in a plane commercial. All right, all right, all right.

-I am so glad they have these stand up to hate commercials, but wish with all my heart we didn’t need to have them.

-BOOM and that’s a miss!

-Jones on the Chiefs hurt his knee and might be out of the game.

-Looks like Jones left on a stretcher, I hope he is okay!

-Eagles score another 3 points!

-Still none for the Chiefs!

-Another flag with a penalty!

-This dude keeps saying the game is almost over, but there is a whole ass quarter of it left.

-Chiefs coach is now taking points away from Ravenclaw.

-WTF is even happening with the Chiefs tonight? So many rookie mistakes and they are playing like they are at recess, not the Super Bowl. So many missed opportunities to score, missing easy plays and doing God knows what.

-Another touchdown for the Eagles! 34 points!

-I have never seen a Super Bowl game like this before….holy crap…..the Chiefs are getting their asses kicked right now.

-Eagles are killing it tonight! Just when you think the Chiefs are going to make a decent move, the Eagles are on their tails to make sure that doesn’t happen.

-Maybe instead of dancing, Mahomes can, you know, do something useful for his team?

-Chiefs coach took ten points away from Slytherin and is about to throw a fit.

-FINALLY, the Chiefs get a touchdown!

-Is Matthew McConaughey just doing random commercials for the Super Bowl?

-Also, there are a ton of local commercials playing. It makes watching for the commercials disappointing because these are the same ones that I see during General Hospital.

-Now they all look like they are fighting over the ball, and I don’t even know what is happening with this game anymore.

-Jalen Hurts wants to win….um, duh?

-Another 3 points for the Eagles.

-Some dude from the Chiefs is crying on the sidelines.

-Yeah, unless there is some sort of miracle, there is no threepeat this year.

-Eagles intercept again to prevent the Chiefs from scoring.

-Anddddddd…..another 3 points for the Eagles. They have 40 points to the Chiefs’ 6.

-David Beckham doing a Stella commercial where he discovers he is his own twin brother has me all sorts of confused.

-As an aside, I also loved Harrison Ford’s Jeep commercial.

-Another Fun with Flags moment, Sheldon Cooper would be so jealous.

-A ref is getting yelled at now? I missed who did it, but love Tom Brady’s commentary on it.

-Andddddd at the very last minute, the Chiefs get another touchdown. Unless we have a super miracle, the Eagles have it in the bag.

-Another flag!

-Chiefs coach dude is like, don’t pull a Maxwell Sheffield and take that touchdown back or I will go all Sonny Corinthos on your ass.

-Chiefs get two more points, giving them 14 to the Eagles’ 40.

-I just found out on Facebook that Tom Sandoval’s assistant got a commercial tonight. Scandoval is the gift that keeps on giving.

-Why are they pouring Gatorade on people and hugging? WTF is even happening anymore?

-Chiefs get another touchdown….and the game is almost over. They have 22 points now. If they had kept this momentum from the beginning, they could have won.

-Eagles win!!!!

-That is a wrap for this Super Bowl!