Tonight is the season premiere of ABC’s The Bachelor. It is season 24 and the lucky leading man is none other than Peter Weber, the pilot who wooed Hannah Brown in a windmill (four times!) last season. He ended up leaving with a broken heart, but ultimately decided to give love another chance.
Thirty girls will try to win him over, with only one left standing at the end of the season. Let’s fly away with him, shall we?
Apparently, we stole a page from Momento and flashed to the final rose ceremony where Peter gets shocking news. He is freaking out…..but of course we don’t know why. We also see his mother begging him not to let someone go.
Oh, there are also tons of tears and a virgin revelation. We have to wait and see what that is all about though.
We then get to him taking a ‘leap of faith’ and flying away, looking back on his journey with Hannah. We also see him spend time with his family….I forgot he was Cuban.
Chris Harrison also gives him a pep talk in the car. Okay, then.
Alexa: We see her wax someone’s hoo-ha. All righty then!
Hannah Ann: Wayyy to zealous over this.
Tammy: Wrestler/smasher of houses.
Victoria P: Raised her sister, nurse, mom overcame addiction.
Kelley: Lawyer in a family firm, met Peter in LA.
Madison: Basketball player, daddy’s girl.
Maurissa: Patient care coordinator, former pageant girl, body image issues.
Peter arrives to the mansion and gets one last pep talk from Chris before meeting the girls.
Alayah: Gives a letter from her grandma.
Sydney: Alabama girl.
Hannah Ann: Thankful he is the Bachelor.
Sarah: Full of butterflies.
Lauren: She is scared, so she is here.
Victoria P: Happy dances with him.
MyKenna: Checks him out.
Maurissa: Pinky promises to be honest with each other and be themselves.
Kelsey: Thinks Hannah made a mistake.
Eunice: Wears angel wings because she is a flight attendant…or robbed a Victoria’s Secret on the way?
Jade: Another flight attendant.
Megan: Another flight attendant.
Madison: Arrives in a paper airplane.
Tammy: Does a private screening…
Shiann: gives him a barf bag.
Courtney: Taxis a plane and in it to win it.
Kiarra: Arrives in a suitcase…because she is Gabby from Desperate Housewives.
Lexi: Likes to go fast.
Deandra: Windmill girl….ready for round 5.
Payton: Four times?
Jasmine: Makes another windmill reference.
Kylie: Brings condoms.
Katrina: Shows her hairless pussy….cat.
Victoria F: Her sense of humor is the only thing dry about her.
Jenna: Brings an emotional support cow.
Savannah: Blindfolds him and feels him up…..leading to a kiss.
Kelley: Happy to see him again.
Alexa: Seems nervous.
Avonlea: Rhymes with heavenly? OK…
Natasha: Just hugs him.
HANNAH B: Former Bachelorette, DWTS winner, four time windmill girl. She just gives him his flight wings and wishes him luck after some chit chat.
As the girls enter and gossip: They thank Hannah for letting him go and call him a real person who is literally a doll. Thanks for clearing that up.
After all the girls enter and Peter tells them he has closure with Hannah, we get to mingling. Peter reads the letter from Alayah, does a secret handshake with Maurissa and flies paper airplanes with Madison.
Chris drops off the first impression rose. It is ON.
More mingling, windmill references and cattiness. He also makes out with half the girls….causing one of them to divide them into cats and rats.
The mingling goes on for wayyy too long, Hannah Ann is ‘that’ girl who constantly tries to steal him away. She finally gets called out for it and apologizes…..but it’s not quite genuine.
More stealing and whining….
Hannah Ann gets the first impression rose, making the other girls jealous.
So many choices….my wife is probably here……follow my heart….
Victoria P: Nurse who raised sister.
Madison: Basketball daddy’s girl.
Kelley: Andi 2.0.
Lexi: Ummmm. No clue.
Savannah: Blindfold girl.
Tammy: Scanner girl
Alayah: Note from grandma.
Sydney: No clue.
MyKenna: No clue.
Deandra: Windmill girl.
Sarah: No clue.
Kelsey: No clue.
Kiarra: Suitcase girl.
Courtney: Plane girl.
Shiann: Girl who called out Hannah Ann.
Victoria F: Cried too much.
Everyone else….Kylie, Jade, Maurissa, Katrina, Megan, Jenna, Avonlea, and Eunice are sent home.
Group date: Hannah Ann, Kelley, Deandra, Tammy, Courtney, Shiann, Victoria P, Jasmine and Victoria F are on this date. They get quizzed by his friends and it is just boring.
They do a gyroscope which leads to spins and Victoria P getting sick. He gets her water and hugs her. She also has Annalise flashbacks about her time being sick on the teacups.
After suiting up, they do an obstacle course. Kelley wins, everyone else whines.
She also cheated? Okay…..but I’d be more mad with how mean she is being. It wasn’t necessary to be that attitude-y.
I also kinda love Shiann for calling people out on their BS.
Peter gives Victoria P flowers because no guy ever gave her flowers.
I kind of tuned out during the mingling. Shiann is mad Kelley interrupts her time with Peter.
Kelley gets the rose. No one is happy, making me think she is the villain.
Madison gets the first one on one. They go to a vow renewal for his parents….which he officiates.
Madison bonds with the family and catches the bouquet because of course she does. In other news, she also gets the rose. They seal the deal with a kiss, dancing and a band.
Group date 2: I missed who was on it, but I do know this is the one where Hannah B shows up. She talks about the windmill and wants to hear their sex stories….which they will share in front of a live audience. Yeah…no. I respect my prior boyfriends WAY too much to do this. Mine would be….none-ya.
Apparently, it is also Hannah’s birthday and she is crying over missing Peter.
How the heck do we still have another 15 minutes? I even dozed off through part of the first group date.
They discuss what happened between them and it seems like she has a lot of regrets. He seems very upset, especially when she asked Tyler out. She admits she didn’t know what to do. There are lots of tears and admissions of feelings and confusion….but we have to wait until next week to find out what happens.