Corporate Season 1, Episode 7 Recap

The Hampton Deville executives are having a meeting, but the boss is gone so naturally things get a little out of hand.  John and Kate can’t figure out who Christian wanted to run the meeting after he leaves to take a call, so they both decide to run it together.  Eventually Bill Hathaway, an older, old-fashioned associate, decides that the man should be in charge.  That means John by default, though we all know Kate has the bigger pair of balls between the two.  Before long it becomes apparent that without a real authority figure the room is losing focus.  John collects everyone’s phones, of which Baron contributes about half the total number of devices, in order to maintain control of the meeting. It doesn’t work.

Jake begins to daydream, imagining himself as a warrior from the game he was playing on his phone before it was confiscated.  He kills Bill Hathaway by stabbing him with a sword before awaking to hear Grace discussing who in the room has had sex with each other in the past, and who wants to have sex with who in the future, strictly based on the intuition she’s gained as an HR director.

Matt also has a dream.  He sees his recently deceased grandmother who tells him he’s wasting his life and also that his hair looks bad.  She tells him that his bad hair is the reason he’s not getting laid, and honestly she has a point.  Get a haircut, Matt. And for the love of God keep your toes to yourself.  I still haven’t forgotten about last episode.

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Eventually the employees all realize that they’re wasting their time.  Only a single woman voices that opinion though, and she is promptly escorted out by security after exclaiming that everyone should live in the woods.  Good on everyone else for not saying that out loud.  I mean, we all have moments where we wish we could leave the stresses of civilization behind and build a small shelter in the middle of the forest, scavenging for food with our closest friends, but then we wouldn’t have computers, or spices, or couches.  No thank you.  That fantasy is useful for the sole purpose of keeping us sane through the workday, but voicing that type of thought out loud is completely bonkers and should definitely land you in an insane asylum (which is basically the woods except with armed guards instead of wild animals and steel bars instead of trees).  Have fun in your straitjacket, you lunatic.

At this point, John decides to give the staff a mental break by playing a funny YouTube video.  Unfortunately for everyone, the employee who suggested the video has a weird sense of humor.  So weird, in fact, that while watching the video Grace comes to believe she’s on the ayahuasca trip she’s been meaning to take, and she questions the very reality in front of her.

Baron then forces himself to puke because he wants to go to an Adele concert, much to the envy of his coworkers.  A bird flies into the room immediately after and lifts everyones spirits, but Bill steps on it because he’s an asshole.  Christian finally comes back and decides that since nothing got done, the meeting will resume tomorrow, which means nothing that happened in this whole damn episode even mattered. Welcome to corporate life.

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