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 American Idol
Results of Semi-Finals, Group One
Tonight on Fox is the American Idol Results Show of the first semi-finals. Ryan asks how the judges felt about last night's performance overall. Randy gives some vague commentary, saying that it was good with some disappointments. OBVIOUSLY. Kara (who is wearing a really ugly suit jacket) actually names names: Stevie, Casey, Stephen.
Per usual, there are some strange sexual tension jokes about Simon and the other judges. This is getting TOO weird and I only think it will get worse as the season goes on. The awkwardness is broken up by...
...THE corniest group performance I've ever seen on AI. They split into trios and sing Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours", which is fine around a campfire in Hawaii, but not on a national television show with frickin lasers in the background. The worst trio is Ann Marie, Casey and Tatiana, who don't even attempt to harmonize with each other and sound like three girls singing at a high school assembly. The group performance only gets worse when they do the classic Idol guy-girl pair off, segues into choreography that involves shimmying. However, it gets better at the end when they sing together as a group without too many bells and whistles.
Now we see a montage of last night's performances. We get to watch Jackie Tohn in her crazy spandex leggings again, and Braddy in his male wedding planner outfit. We see clips of the younger performers who cracked under the pressure (Stevie and Casey performances look even worse than I remember when shown as 10 second clips). In comparison, Tatiana looked pretty good! But freaking ANOOP!!!!!!!!!!! I love this guy! Next, we see Ann Marie and Alexis singing Aretha Franklin back to back, and they had some pretty great moments (though I still strongly disagree with the comparison of Alexis to Kelly Clarkson). And finally, Danny was the shizz!!!!!!!!
Ryan talks to the contestants on the couch. Jackie is wearing DOPE earrings. Well, one earring was dope - a rainbow of fabric shreds hanging down to her shoulders - and the other was just a hoop. Anoop gives a very polished and somewhat cold response about how he feels about being at the semi-finals. Ryan gets in his face and makes Anoop admit that he's nervous. Aww...Noop Dagg's even cuter when he's vulnerable!!! Then Seacrest talks to Stevie, who still doesn't look 16 to me - though she at least acts like it, thank God.
The first contestant to take center stage is Casey, who looks beautiful and is showing the most cleavage she's shown all competition! I guess she's going to try and milk the bikini photo thing since she'll probably be eliminated. I'm sure Playboy will be calling. Ryan Seacrest announces that Casey is not in the Top 3 - no surprise there.
Next is Stephen Wright, who is wearing a vest with a skinny tie - an outfit that he should have worn last night, instead the thing that looked like Zack Morris' pants resewn as a shirt. Not surprisingly, we find out that Stephen is also not in the Top 3.
 Alexis Grace is next, and she looks great! She has a nice straw fedora and a vest as well. Her parents look like 70s rockers! How cool!!! Also cool is the fact that Alexis was in the Top 3, which menas she will be in the Final 12! She starts crying a little. Ryan tells her "You could be the next American Idol" and she says "I know" off-handedly. Haha. She performs her song again as her parents hug and kiss each other.
Now Seacrest brings up Jackie and Ricky. Ricky is wearing a thermal henley. He looks like a lumber jack hipster - huh?! Neither of them was in the Top 3. Hopefully they'll bring Jackie back as a wild card.
Next is Anoop and Michael. Michael looks like a superhero in a shiny grey jacket, and Anoop looks like a computer programmer/golfer/Gap employee. Michael is through - WTF?! Jock kicks nerd's butt?! Michael sings his subpar Gavin DeGraw. And trust me, I like Michael, but come on...his performance was not that great. It's all because he looks like n action figure.
Now that we know who 2 of the Top 3 are, it's time for some BS. Seacrest shows the opening of The American Idol Experience at Disneyland, where park guests get the chance to go up and sing in front of a live audience. They show the festivities ending in an awesome duet of David Cook and Carrie Underwood singing "Go Your Own Way".
Randomly, Michael Johns and Carly Smithson from Season 7 come on. Carly tells a weird story about having to buy a weave in an "Asian neighborhood" in Florida and Michael talks about his upcoming album, which will probably do horribly because no one remembers who he is. They sing a duet of "The Letter". They sound a lot better than all the contestants who performed last night. Carly is more of a pro than Michael Johns, though Johnsy has tons more charisma. Why did these two come on together? Is it because they both have foreign accents????? I don't know...anyway....
Seacrest makes Ann Marie, Brent and Stevie stand up. None of them made it. Ann Marie's brother is backstage holding back his tears and what looks like a rapidly growing desire to kill someone.
Now we have Danny, the most beloved AI contestant so far, and Tatiana, the most hated. Tat starts flipping out and Danny just looks at her with unabashed pity/confusion. It's kind of hilarious. Seacrest asks Paula who deserves the spot. Paula says Danny and we go to a shot of girls screaming in the audience and fixing their hair. UGHHHH. Danny rolls his eyes when Seacrest says we have to wait til after the break to hear the results. God, Danny is HILARIOUS! His face is showing exactly what America has been thinking for EIGHT YEARS!!! Finally, a contestant who is in on the game! One more reason to love this guy and vote him to the top!
OK, we come back from commercial break and Tatianna looks like she is going to pass out - probably because she is hyperventilating on purpose on national TV. Ryan asks her how she feels and she makes a weird speech about accepting the power of love and faith. Ryan asks Danny how he feels and Danny says he just wants to find out. YES!!!! He's the man. Ryan says that Danny is in the Top 3, and his friends are in the back clapping sloooowly in disbelief, which I found to be a little weird.
 Tatiana is shown looking like she's about to go into catatonic shock as Danny grabs the platinum mic and busts out with his manly version of Mariah Carey. People in the audience start swaying side to side - yeaaaah! I hope he wins - can American handle a bespectacled Idol? I THINK SO!!!
Danny sings even better than he did last night - he's a star, dammit!!! We fade into a shot of Danny's friend in the back holding a picture of Danny with his deceased wife. I think it's sweet, but I hope that people don't then take this to an inapproriate level once we hit the big stage. I don't want to be seeing no massive posters and t-shirts with pictures of his poor wife on them....
And meanwhile, Tatiana is crying inconsolably in the background the entire time. Ughhhh. PLEASE don't bring her back for the wild card.
Next week, we have Group Two of the semi-finals: Megan Corkrey, Mishavonna Henson, Allison Iraheta, Jesse Langseth, Jasmine Murray, Jeanine Vailes, Kris Allen, Matt Breitzke, Matt Giraud, Kai Kalama, Adam Lambert, and Nick Mitchell ("Norman Gentle").
Of this group, I am putting my one Megan Corkrey and Matt Giraud. For a third person, I'd say if Jasmine does well, she could definitely be in the running...
Until next week, my fellow Idol Addicts! For more outstanding reads by JenKwok, click HERE To join our awesome Fan Forum, click HERE
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